Pie Chart of Heisman Candidates Who Have Won a BCS Championship

The Bandit Poll, Week 5

You know the drill.  This week is probably the largest variance between the Bandit Poll and the AP Poll yet.

1. Alabama - no brainer.

2.  FSU - impressive.

3. Kansas State - taking out Stoops and proving they are for real.

4. West Virginia - took a while to put away Maryland, so they fall a little.

5. Oregon - quack.

6. LSU - will Mettenberger continue the LSU tradition of underperforming QBs?

7.  South Carolina - impressive vs. Mizzou

8.  UGA - Mark Richt hasn't Mark Richted it yet.

9.  Florida - where did all the Muschamp haters go?

10. Stanford - second best team in the PAC?

The Gene Chizik Firing Pool

WIN A FABULOUS PRIZE AND HELP A GREAT MOM FIGHT CANCER!

Gene Chizk's Auburn Tiger are 1-2, looking straight into the jaws of 1-3.  We all know how Auburn enjoys running off coaches (here and here).  Personally, I think it's just a matter of time before we say happy trails to the Chizmonster. Why not have some fun and use Chiz's impending vocational shift for some good?  

THE CONTEST

The contest is simple, whoever picks the date and time closest to Chizik's actual D-day, wins.  

THE CAUSE

 
To enter the contest visit the Raise Money For Jami Davis page and make a donation.   Jami is mom to the famous Bama Dawg and a 9 year old little girl.  Jami has been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer. The costs of her medical care are staggering, and every donation helps, no matter the amount.

After sending your donation email me at banditref@gmail.com with your prediction of the time and date Gene Chizik gets fired. Be sure to include your name and Twitter handle.  I will then place you in the pool.  The pool will be posted on this page, so come back often and see what your friends are predicting.

 THE PRIZE

The prize is a personal social media graphics package from @K1ngCrimson and @banditref.  It will include a personally drawn caricature, a personal Twitter logo, Twitter background, Facebook cover photo and more.  The package is valued at over 1 billion Zimbabwe dollars. You will also earn a prize more rare and valued than any other, the respect and admiration of King Crimson and Bandit Ref.

HOW TO HELP

SPREAD THE WORD! Tweet, Facebook, and shout from the roof tops about this contest, lets get Jami better!

The Bandit Poll, Week 4

The Bandit Poll is starting to take shape, and is starting to get a little bit farther from the AP Poll each week.  I would also like to point out that it has been way more on target than the AP Poll so far, like not ranking Oklahoma State, because they are clowns.

1. Alabama - Alabama is in danger of leaving the Bandit Poll and becoming the #33 NFL team.

2.  West Virginia - I think West Virginia is good to the last drop.  Who in the Big 12 is going to stop them? Nobody, that's who.

3.  LSU - the only team with a real shot at Alabama in the regular season, and I am still not sold on Mettenberger.

4.  Oregon - probably be the best PAC team.

5.  Stanford - might be the best PAC team.

6.  FSU - I have to admit the Wake win was impressive, but it was still Wake.  If they dominate Clemson that way, I will pay attention.

7.  Ohio State - after the Michigan State debacle I think they proved themselves the best Big 10 team, which is being the tallest midget.

8.  Florida - do I like the way Florida is developing more than UGA and USCe? Yes I do.

9.  South Carolina - Steve Spurrier's squad has looked fine so far, but not impressive enough for the top 5.

10.  Notre Dame - ND is in my top 10, the Mayans were right.

The Bandit Poll, Week 3

Another week, another Bandit Poll, preferred by 4 out of 5 dentist.  Before we start let me drop a little Haiku for the Oklahoma State fan who said I was an idiot for not ranking his team.  

Okie State Blew It

You Look Like A Big Clown

No Be A Clown.

1. Alabama - Alabama fans chill, don't be ridiculous about a shutout, unless you just want to look like Yankee fans.

2. Oregon - still quaking.

3. WVU - still mountianing?

4. USC - Matt Barkley is a boy dog.

5. LSU - because I got high.

CFB Rooting Interest, Week 2

This is where I tell you who I am rooting for, feel free to do the opposite just out of spite.  All times Eastern.

Thursday Game: Pittsburgh at Cincinnati, 8PM ESPN, I guess I am rooting for Cincinnati, though I am only watching this because it is the only college football on.  Maybe if they played the Notre Dame vs. Purdue game at the same time, on the same field, I might be interested.

Friday Game: Utah at Utah State, 8PM East ESPN2, I don't have multiple wives or magic underwear so I don't really have a dog in this hunt.  I will pull for Utah State since they are the underdog.

Noon Game: Auburn at Mississippi State 12PM ESPN,  I am rooting for Mississippi State because I don't want the terrorist to win.

Afternoon Game: Western Kentucky at Alabama, 3:30PM ESPN3 SEC Network, Because I will watch any Alabama football game.

Dinner Game: Washington at LSU, 7PM ESPN, Go Huskies, though the outlook is grim.

Night Game: Georgia at Mizzou 7:45 PM ESPN 2, I think Mizzou has a real shot at winning their first SEC game.  Mark Richt will then start planning his 12th rebuilding year.  Go Zou!

Night Cap Game: Oklahoma State at Arizona 10:30 PM PAC 12 Network, Will Rich Rod get his first win at Arizona? How will Oklahoma Sate look playing a non high school level team? These questions answered and more! Go Rich Rod ... I feel dirty.

Social Media Wisdom

Today's Social Media Wisdom is a series of tweets from Harvey Updyke's sister. 

One of these photos is from Facebook, the other is from a professional
photographer working for the correctional arm of the State of Florida.

It all started when I posted my Hug For Michigan video on Youtube.  The lovely and well spoken @bamazkim did not enjoy my humorous video and tweeted the following:

The Bandit Poll, Week 2

The Bandit Poll is like the AP Poll but not stupid, and I am the only vote.  Also, there is no week one Bandit Poll because ranking teams before you see them play is ridiculous.  The teams in the Bandit Poll will have much larger shifts week to week than teams in the AP Poll. I won't base where I put them each week on where they were last week, because that is moronic.  A win in the Bandit Poll is not just a win, how you win and against who matters.  Basically the Bandit Poll is everything the AP Poll wishes it could be.

1.  Alabama - Alabama crushed Michigan and is the only top 5 team to really challenge itself in week 1.


2.  Oregon - The Oregon offense looks as good as USC and they have the added bonus of a real live defense.


3.  WVU - WVU is the best team in the Big 12, sorry Sooners.


4.  Nebraska - No I didn't think Michigan State almost losing to a down Boise was impressive.


5.  LSU - LSU is good, how good is yet to be seen, they have one of the weakest schedules in the SEC this year.

A Hug For Michigan

Here it is my response to all the Michigan fans who talked about how Michigan was going to beat Alabama.  Enjoy and spread it to a Michigan fan you love, or want to love.  Be sure to read up on Operation Hug It Out (OHIO) too.

Operation Hug It Out

So what is "Operation Hug It Out?"  O.H.I.O. is a plan to extend a little southern hospitality to our friends from Canada, University of Michigan fans.  These poor Canadians have, as my good friend King put it, "Have no idea what's coming." 

As we all know, after a tragedy of the magnitude about to inflict our poor eskimo friends, there is a lot of healing that needs to be done.  You need someone to come along and put an arm around you, to guide you through the wilderness.  Someone to be your magic unicorn of love that helps you cope with the absolutely devastating ass kicking reality check that has just befallen you.  I am going to be that loving embrace for Michigan fans. 

Of course, I can't be there to hug them in person, and I don't want to catch Canada.  So I will do the next best thing, I will make an internet hug for them.  It will be a full multimedia presentation that will use images, music, animation, and words to express how much I love them.  It will touch on a range of subjects from their being Canadian to them being in the Big 10.  Truly, I am a man of the people. 

But who will you send this loving warm rainbow kiss embrace to Bandit? Glad you asked.  If you follow me on Twitter you may have noticed how I have been retweeting the most angry, silly, and ignorant messages from Michigan fans.  I will use these individuals as my base, tweeting my message to each and everyone of them.  I am sure they will respond with kind words and adoration, they may try to make me king of Michigan. ( I will of course decline, I don't know how to build an igloo.) Be sure to follow me on Twitter so that you can see the wonderful outcry of love that I receive back.

But lets not stop there, we all need to pitch in.  Be sure to save the twitter or facebooks of any really "special" Michigan fans that might cross your path.  Then on Sunday morning send them a link to this page, which will by then have our video message posted at the top. Heck, if we could get the message posted on some Michigan fan websites on Sunday morning just think of all the love we could spread!

Thank you all for helping these poor less fortunate Canadian souls,

Bandit

Fun Things To Say To Michigan Fans

The Michigan vs. Alabama game on Saturday night is going to be a tight game ... at least until kickoff.  Michigan fans, and Big 10 fans in general, are getting very chippy on the Twitterbook and the MyGoogle, which is surprising considering the last few years.  So for those of you venturing into Dallas this weekend, I have written a few phrases that may come in handy. 

10. I drive a Honda.

9.  The Red Wings are my favorite NBA team too.

8.  Matthew Stafford never lived up to the hype in the SEC either.

7.  Michael Moore is from your state.

Daily CFB Deinspiration

Michigan has included Toussaint in their depth chart for the Alabama game.  What happened to all that moral high ground the Big 10 used to have? Did you leave it in the showers?

CFB Meme of the Day

Since it's Michigan hate week around here Michigan will of course be your CFB Meme of the day subject.

CFB Rooting Interest, Week 1

This is where I tell you who I will be rooting for each week.  I won't call you an idiot if you don't root for the same teams, my last name isn't Brando. (Unless he proposes before you read this.)

Spending time with his family.

Early Game: Miami University (Ohio) at Ohio State 11a.m. on BTN

Yeah, so Miami University (Ohio)* probably has no chance, but I would still love to see Urbie totally doink his first home game as Ohio State head coach.

*Thanks to @BourbonWarfare for correcting me on the name of his Alma Mater. I always appreciate folks helping me to not look like a giraffe with a head injury.

CFB Meme of the Day

Remember when ESPN asked "What if Michael Vick was white" because they wanted to see if we were all racist? Well, I made one for Michigan QB Denard Robinson, what do you think?

Bandit Cartoon, Every Conversation With An Auburn Fan 3

It's that time again.



And don't forget to check out the original Every Conversation With An Auburn Fan.

Lying With Numbers, Spring Game Attendance Report

I love this so much, particularly that Arizona's 
spring football game is held in a baseball
stadium.

Two things happen every spring: 1. Universities hold their annual spring game, giving football fans a blissful respite in the desert of the off season. 2. Universities turn into politicians and make crazy exaggerated lies about attendance at the spring game. Why do universities feel the need to lie about something so completely trivial? Universities are places of higher education and learning, but they are also hubris machines. Universities today seem to spend as much time on their image as they do on education. Nothing brings out this twisted reality like the spring football game.

Spring game attendance doesn't mean much in the way of anything serious, but it can be a good indicator of fan support. Especially when you compare this year's attendance to last year's attendance. So here are the official numbers, the likely lies, and last years numbers for comparison. Included are all the usually SEC teams and some notable extras.

Some teams haven't played yet, this article will be updated as further spring games are completed. Also, don't confuse laughing at the exaggerations of universities as actually thinking spring game numbers matter.


Covered Games:  Alabama, Auburn, LSU, South Carolina, Michigan, Clemson, Georgia, Mizzou, Pitt, Purdue, USC, Texas and FSU.

Thinking Bout Stuff With Steve Spurrier, On Nick Saban

Steve Spurrier told reporters yesterday that he didn't think Nick Saban was a great coach.  Well today Steve decided to release this video to help clear up why he thinks that way.

Every Conversation With the Media in the Off Season

About 30 seconds after the National Championship each year the college football media begins it's traditional season of not thinking*.  These are the usual results:

*If you are a media member I obviously wrote this about your competitors, not you, you're awesome.

SEC Billboard Wars Proliferation

Mississippi State and Ole Miss are locked in a duel to the death.  No it's not the annual Egg Bowl, that is anything but a duel.  It's a game of one-upmanship involving who can out do who with billboards.  MSU launched the first salvo, and now Ole Miss has followed suit.  Little did they know they were going to ignite a SEC billboard arms race.  Now all the SEC schools are involved, lets take a look at their efforts: (click to make images bigger)

Auburn is launching a campaign to stress the life of success a career at Auburn can lead too.