The Bandit Poll, Week 5

You know the drill.  This week is probably the largest variance between the Bandit Poll and the AP Poll yet.

1. Alabama - no brainer.

2.  FSU - impressive.

3. Kansas State - taking out Stoops and proving they are for real.

4. West Virginia - took a while to put away Maryland, so they fall a little.

5. Oregon - quack.

6. LSU - will Mettenberger continue the LSU tradition of underperforming QBs?

7.  South Carolina - impressive vs. Mizzou

8.  UGA - Mark Richt hasn't Mark Richted it yet.

9.  Florida - where did all the Muschamp haters go?

10. Stanford - second best team in the PAC?

The Bandit Poll, Week 4

The Bandit Poll is starting to take shape, and is starting to get a little bit farther from the AP Poll each week.  I would also like to point out that it has been way more on target than the AP Poll so far, like not ranking Oklahoma State, because they are clowns.

1. Alabama - Alabama is in danger of leaving the Bandit Poll and becoming the #33 NFL team.

2.  West Virginia - I think West Virginia is good to the last drop.  Who in the Big 12 is going to stop them? Nobody, that's who.

3.  LSU - the only team with a real shot at Alabama in the regular season, and I am still not sold on Mettenberger.

4.  Oregon - probably be the best PAC team.

5.  Stanford - might be the best PAC team.

6.  FSU - I have to admit the Wake win was impressive, but it was still Wake.  If they dominate Clemson that way, I will pay attention.

7.  Ohio State - after the Michigan State debacle I think they proved themselves the best Big 10 team, which is being the tallest midget.

8.  Florida - do I like the way Florida is developing more than UGA and USCe? Yes I do.

9.  South Carolina - Steve Spurrier's squad has looked fine so far, but not impressive enough for the top 5.

10.  Notre Dame - ND is in my top 10, the Mayans were right.

The Bandit Poll, Week 3

Another week, another Bandit Poll, preferred by 4 out of 5 dentist.  Before we start let me drop a little Haiku for the Oklahoma State fan who said I was an idiot for not ranking his team.  

Okie State Blew It

You Look Like A Big Clown

No Be A Clown.

1. Alabama - Alabama fans chill, don't be ridiculous about a shutout, unless you just want to look like Yankee fans.

2. Oregon - still quaking.

3. WVU - still mountianing?

4. USC - Matt Barkley is a boy dog.

5. LSU - because I got high.

The Bandit Poll, Week 2

The Bandit Poll is like the AP Poll but not stupid, and I am the only vote.  Also, there is no week one Bandit Poll because ranking teams before you see them play is ridiculous.  The teams in the Bandit Poll will have much larger shifts week to week than teams in the AP Poll. I won't base where I put them each week on where they were last week, because that is moronic.  A win in the Bandit Poll is not just a win, how you win and against who matters.  Basically the Bandit Poll is everything the AP Poll wishes it could be.

1.  Alabama - Alabama crushed Michigan and is the only top 5 team to really challenge itself in week 1.


2.  Oregon - The Oregon offense looks as good as USC and they have the added bonus of a real live defense.


3.  WVU - WVU is the best team in the Big 12, sorry Sooners.


4.  Nebraska - No I didn't think Michigan State almost losing to a down Boise was impressive.


5.  LSU - LSU is good, how good is yet to be seen, they have one of the weakest schedules in the SEC this year.

World Events The Last Time Steve Spurrier Won A National Title

Steve Spurrier loves to remind folks of his great accomplishments at Florida, and why that makes him the top SEC coach. So here is a list of things that were happening the last time Steve won a national title:

- The O.J. Simpson trial began.

- Ken Starr was threatening Bill Clinton instead of Texas A&M.

- Alanis Morissette proves she has no idea what the word "ironic" means.

- The Nintendo 64 was released. DO A BARREL ROLL!!!

- The Atlanta Braves played in the ML World Series.  No, really they did, look it up.

- SHOW ME THE MONEY!

- Dude, what's your AOL screen name?

- The Nanny was a popular T.V. show ... for some reason.

- The cloned sheep Dolly was created.  Celebrations abound all across Auburn.

- I was marking off my calendar that it would be the year 2000 in only 4 more years.  I had better start saving for that hoverboard.

- Y2K was going to end the world long before the Mayans could get us.

- The Washington Redskins didn't yet know just how bad they were going to get.

- People other than Lou Holtz considered Notre Dame a good team. 

- Lou Holtz was coaching Notre Dame.

- We all thought Tiger Woods was a nice kid.

- I got my driver's permit.

- THE MACARENA!!!

- South Carolina was playing their 4th season as an SEC team.

- Bob Dole says Bob Dole wants you to vote for Bob Dole.

Lying With Numbers, Spring Game Attendance Report

I love this so much, particularly that Arizona's 
spring football game is held in a baseball
stadium.

Two things happen every spring: 1. Universities hold their annual spring game, giving football fans a blissful respite in the desert of the off season. 2. Universities turn into politicians and make crazy exaggerated lies about attendance at the spring game. Why do universities feel the need to lie about something so completely trivial? Universities are places of higher education and learning, but they are also hubris machines. Universities today seem to spend as much time on their image as they do on education. Nothing brings out this twisted reality like the spring football game.

Spring game attendance doesn't mean much in the way of anything serious, but it can be a good indicator of fan support. Especially when you compare this year's attendance to last year's attendance. So here are the official numbers, the likely lies, and last years numbers for comparison. Included are all the usually SEC teams and some notable extras.

Some teams haven't played yet, this article will be updated as further spring games are completed. Also, don't confuse laughing at the exaggerations of universities as actually thinking spring game numbers matter.


Covered Games:  Alabama, Auburn, LSU, South Carolina, Michigan, Clemson, Georgia, Mizzou, Pitt, Purdue, USC, Texas and FSU.

Thinking Bout Stuff With Steve Spurrier, On Nick Saban

Steve Spurrier told reporters yesterday that he didn't think Nick Saban was a great coach.  Well today Steve decided to release this video to help clear up why he thinks that way.

Garcia Gold

Looks like Stephen Garcia is going to land on his feet after all.  He has already gotten him self a promotion deal!

I am the Big Dog





 Tweet

College Football Jeopardy

Welcome to College Football Jeopardy, I'm your host Alex Trebek.  Using the following answers give us the questions that correspond to them.  Keep track of your point total until Final Jeopardy.  Email your points, your wager, and your Final Jeopardy  answer to banditref@gmail.com .  The player with the highest score will be recognized on banditref.com and the Bandit will tweet their awesomeness to the world with @banditref on the tweetbook.  The contest is being conducted on the honor system.* Simply move your mouse over each answer to reveal the question. Remember to answer in the form of a question, and good luck.

* If you are an Auburn fan you may not understand the "honor system" you can read up on it here.

FOR 200 DOLLARS

FOR 400 DOLLARS

FOR 600 DOLLARS

FOR 800 DOLLARS

FOR 1000 DOLLARS

*Please read the footnote in regards to this question when you have completed the game

FOR 1500 DOLLARS

FOR 2000 DOLLARS

FINAL JEOPARDY 

Add up your total winnings so far, then decide what you will wager before you look at the following clue.  Email your answer, wager, and winnings to banditref@gmail.com.  You won't win any real prize and it won't mean you know more about college sports than anyone else.  But it might mean you have a sick sense of humor like Bandit and you are gonna be best friends forever ... or not, whatever.

THE CATEGORY IS:
TERRIBLE SPORTS CASTERS

* Footnote about the Mizzou question:

Please return to the Mizzou question and appreciate the picture of three cute Mizzou girls.  You have no idea how long I had to search to find cute Mizzou girls.  Seriously, the holy grail is easier to find. 

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest but your mother's a whore.

  Tweet

Steve Spurrier is Mad That Life Isn't Fair

On Tuesday South Carolina Head Coach Steve Spurrier sat down to talk to Dan Patrick about his team, the off-season,  and of all things, social media.  It wasn't the fact that the 66 year old Spurrier hated Twitter that surprised me, it was that he still hasn't outgrown being a tattletale. 

Spurrier was upset that Alabama received what he called "favorable treatment" from ESPN.  Spurrier's complaints revolved around the ESPN special on Alabama's training camp and the Alabama "Roll Tide" commercial  that aired during last year's bowl season.  Spurrier was so upset by this "favorable treatment" that he went to SEC commissioner Mike Slive to complain.  This is where it gets really 3rd grade tattletale,  Spurrier asked Mike Slive "what ever happened to Go Gators, Rocky Top, or Go Gamecocks?"  Spurrier says he just didn't think it was very fair.

Is Texas A&M SECeding? If So, Who Else?

The rumor mill has been hard at work this morning predicting Texas A&M will move to the SEC for the 2012 season.  I think that A&M making it for 2012 may be a bit of a stretch, but the rumors have been kicked into high gear with the Longhorn Network Deal out in the open for all to see. No reasonable person can argue that the amount of money, publicity, and positive media coverage Texas will get with the deal puts them at an incredible advantage over their counterparts in the Big 12. At this point it looks like Texas is out to do what makes the most money for Texas and everyone else be damned.

So why would Texas A&M go to the SEC? From Texas A&M's standpoint it makes sense for a variety of reasons. They would be joining the undisputed top conference in college football, the SEC has won the past six national titles. They would also be able to recruit against Texas using the SEC banner, telling recruits that they could be seen all over Texas on the Longhorn Network, or all over the nation with the SEC. It would be a step up in revenue to join the lucrative media deals of the SEC, instead of getting what scraps fall their way in the Big 12. The Aggies would be in the hunt for some great bowls and get to play LSU on a yearly basis again. It is really hard to find a reason why the Aggies wouldn't want to be in the SEC when compared to the at this point all but doomed Big 12. Do you want to play Missouri and Kansas, or Alabama and LSU?

Buy, Sell, or Hold SEC Football 2011

Alabama - BUY - The Tide are going to be tough to beat this year, they have an incredible defense coming back,  Trent Richardson is back at running back, and they have a solid line on both sides of the ball.  Right now, they look like the team to beat in the SEC.  Of course the success of the Tide is nothing new, Nick Saban has put together a monster of a football team and we wouldn't look for them to falter anytime soon.  Anything less than a BCS game or a national championship would be a failure for a team with this much talent and this kind of coaching.

Auburn - SELL - Auburn had an outstanding year last year, but that was last year.  Arrest, accusations, and players leaving for the pros have taken a toll on this team. The Auburn football team is a shell of what it was last year.  The weakest point on this team looks to be the lines on both sides of the ball.  It really doesn't matter that Auburn seems to be trying to bring in some new hired guns in the running back and quarterback positions.  Whoever is in the backfield on offense better have their chinstrap on tight, cause that line of freshman is going to have a hard time protecting them. On top of all this Auburn has a tough schedule this year, playing most of their major games away. With Alabama, MSU, LSU, and Arkansas all looking to be great this year Auburn could be looking at the quickest fall of any reigning BCS champion in history.