RAZORHOG: AUBURN BAD

 

Today, March 12th, 2013 is truly a special day. In fact, one could go as far as to say that today is monumental; extraordinary in both scope and magnitude. Today a day of days, one that will forever be remembered in the annals of college football history. Today marks 500 days since the University of Auburn football team won an SEC game.

Now, many of you may ask yourself why a self proclaimed Hog-Homer would have any right, or claim to this, the most joyous of days. However, it is in fact Auburn's ineptitude on the field of play against my beloved Razorbacks, that affords me the proclivity to expound upon this most dubious distinction.

October 6th, 2012 began like any other Saturday morning during college football season. The air was crisp with the coming fall. If the trees in Toomer's corner had any leaves at all, they would have been turning that golden to slightly orange color that marks the impending changing of the seasons. The Auburn faithful were beginning to file into Jordan-Hare Stadium by the fives, and tens; carrying their trade marked signs bearing the oh-so original motto, "All In". The excitement of the near capacity crowd of six-thousand, was palpable. The mighty War-Tiger-Eagles were taking on the hapless, leaderless, John L Smith Smiling Arkansas Razorbacks.

Neither team had yet to win an SEC game. Arkansas began the season with all the best intentions, falsely inflated egos, and overly-hyped trappings of a team set up for a huge fall; and fall they did. Auburn fans knew this all too well. Auburn, just one year removed from an undefeated, BCS National Championship season, was down on it's luck as well. It had been almost a year since Auburn had won an SEC game, their last win at the hands of Houston Dale Nutt's always dominant Ole Miss Black Bear-Rebels. Auburn fans felt that the savior of their team, Gene Chizik, would surely lead the Tiger-Eagles to victory over JLS and the Razorbacks.
As the two teams met on the Plains, the record breaking crowd could feel the mediocrity exuding from each player as they faced down their foe. The crisp early fall air, on that Saturday morning, had begun to sour and turn tepid with the stench of shattered dreams, unrealized potential,  and John L's Stetson cologne.

The game itself was a shining example of SEC football...if you consider the Big 12 an example of SEC football. Which I do not, but I digress. In the end, Arkansas won, and in doing so, achieved their first SEC win. Gene Chizik was out-coached by the old man from the Six Flags commercials; a geriatric, senile old coot, with as much financial responsibility as Bernie Madoff, and outplayed by an offense with a case of the dropsies, supported by a defense afraid of its own shadow. It took a near Herculean effort by the crowd to stay through the entire game. It was glorious.

The Razorbacks took the momentum from their win, and defeated the mighty Kentucky Wildcats the following week, en route to a respectable, by B1G standards, 4-8 record. A feat made possible by the sacrifice of the Auburn War-Tigers.

So, on this day, as we celebrate Auburn's fantastically gargantuan achievement, let us all remember, that while Arkansas was bad in 2012, they weren't Auburn bad. And that my friends is just bad.

~RazorHog
@Razorhogs4life

Les Miles vs. John L. Smith Presidential Debate

Dum dum da dum, dum da dum da dum da dum da.

Bandit Rant, Who Is To Blame For Arkansas' Problems?

So who is ultimately responsible for the situation at Arkansas?

Chart of the Day, Why Arkansas Coach John Smith is Going Bankrupt

Arkansas interim coach John Smith plans to file for bankruptcy.   As you can see from his budget I think the problem stems from his using shinny beads and beaver pelts as currency.

Click to enlarge.

The Arkansas Head Coach John Smith Meme

John Smith is the new interim coach at Arkansas.  John Smith is also the captain who helped found Jamestown and got a thing going with Pocahontas.  These two realities had to meet in a meme.

The Bobby Petrino Funtime Internet Coloring Book

Waiting for college football season sucks, luckily Bobby Petrino wants to help.  That's why Bobby created the Fun With Bobby Coloring Book! It's filled with all kinds of fun things: coloring pictures, word finds, diagrams, crossword puzzles, masks, games, mad libs and more! You can view the Fun With Bobby Coloring Book here or you can download it here.  YAY COLORING, THANKS BOBBY!!!

Big thanks to my buddy @K1ngcrimson for helping me ... er ... I mean Bobby, create this. Follow him on Twitter immediately, Bobby said so.

Every Conversation With the Media in the Off Season

About 30 seconds after the National Championship each year the college football media begins it's traditional season of not thinking*.  These are the usual results:

*If you are a media member I obviously wrote this about your competitors, not you, you're awesome.

SEC Billboard Wars Proliferation

Mississippi State and Ole Miss are locked in a duel to the death.  No it's not the annual Egg Bowl, that is anything but a duel.  It's a game of one-upmanship involving who can out do who with billboards.  MSU launched the first salvo, and now Ole Miss has followed suit.  Little did they know they were going to ignite a SEC billboard arms race.  Now all the SEC schools are involved, lets take a look at their efforts: (click to make images bigger)

Auburn is launching a campaign to stress the life of success a career at Auburn can lead too.

Puppies Respond to the Worst Tweets of the Week

Sometimes only a puppy picture will do. Click the photos to make them larger!

Dennis Dodd of CBS is well known for his inability to understand which team will win in football games.  He wrote an article today detailing what would happen if there were a playoff system in college football.  In this tweet he is going back in time and predicting who would have won each BCS championship had there been a playoff.

His basis for why the SEC, specifically Alabama, would get upset in a playoff is that you can never tell what will happen.  So his argument for making predictions is that you can never know what would happen? Yeah.

He also believes apparently that Nick Saban the best coach currently coaching in college football.  (don't even try to argue he's not) would not have won any championships if it was a playoff system.  Right.

If only we had a playoff, USC and Miami would win every year, unicorns would be real, and there would be world peace.

Buy, Sell, or Hold SEC Football 2011

Alabama - BUY - The Tide are going to be tough to beat this year, they have an incredible defense coming back,  Trent Richardson is back at running back, and they have a solid line on both sides of the ball.  Right now, they look like the team to beat in the SEC.  Of course the success of the Tide is nothing new, Nick Saban has put together a monster of a football team and we wouldn't look for them to falter anytime soon.  Anything less than a BCS game or a national championship would be a failure for a team with this much talent and this kind of coaching.

Auburn - SELL - Auburn had an outstanding year last year, but that was last year.  Arrest, accusations, and players leaving for the pros have taken a toll on this team. The Auburn football team is a shell of what it was last year.  The weakest point on this team looks to be the lines on both sides of the ball.  It really doesn't matter that Auburn seems to be trying to bring in some new hired guns in the running back and quarterback positions.  Whoever is in the backfield on offense better have their chinstrap on tight, cause that line of freshman is going to have a hard time protecting them. On top of all this Auburn has a tough schedule this year, playing most of their major games away. With Alabama, MSU, LSU, and Arkansas all looking to be great this year Auburn could be looking at the quickest fall of any reigning BCS champion in history.