The Bandit Poll, Week 5

You know the drill.  This week is probably the largest variance between the Bandit Poll and the AP Poll yet.

1. Alabama - no brainer.

2.  FSU - impressive.

3. Kansas State - taking out Stoops and proving they are for real.

4. West Virginia - took a while to put away Maryland, so they fall a little.

5. Oregon - quack.

6. LSU - will Mettenberger continue the LSU tradition of underperforming QBs?

7.  South Carolina - impressive vs. Mizzou

8.  UGA - Mark Richt hasn't Mark Richted it yet.

9.  Florida - where did all the Muschamp haters go?

10. Stanford - second best team in the PAC?

The Bandit Poll, Week 4

The Bandit Poll is starting to take shape, and is starting to get a little bit farther from the AP Poll each week.  I would also like to point out that it has been way more on target than the AP Poll so far, like not ranking Oklahoma State, because they are clowns.

1. Alabama - Alabama is in danger of leaving the Bandit Poll and becoming the #33 NFL team.

2.  West Virginia - I think West Virginia is good to the last drop.  Who in the Big 12 is going to stop them? Nobody, that's who.

3.  LSU - the only team with a real shot at Alabama in the regular season, and I am still not sold on Mettenberger.

4.  Oregon - probably be the best PAC team.

5.  Stanford - might be the best PAC team.

6.  FSU - I have to admit the Wake win was impressive, but it was still Wake.  If they dominate Clemson that way, I will pay attention.

7.  Ohio State - after the Michigan State debacle I think they proved themselves the best Big 10 team, which is being the tallest midget.

8.  Florida - do I like the way Florida is developing more than UGA and USCe? Yes I do.

9.  South Carolina - Steve Spurrier's squad has looked fine so far, but not impressive enough for the top 5.

10.  Notre Dame - ND is in my top 10, the Mayans were right.

Lying With Numbers, Spring Game Attendance Report

I love this so much, particularly that Arizona's 
spring football game is held in a baseball
stadium.

Two things happen every spring: 1. Universities hold their annual spring game, giving football fans a blissful respite in the desert of the off season. 2. Universities turn into politicians and make crazy exaggerated lies about attendance at the spring game. Why do universities feel the need to lie about something so completely trivial? Universities are places of higher education and learning, but they are also hubris machines. Universities today seem to spend as much time on their image as they do on education. Nothing brings out this twisted reality like the spring football game.

Spring game attendance doesn't mean much in the way of anything serious, but it can be a good indicator of fan support. Especially when you compare this year's attendance to last year's attendance. So here are the official numbers, the likely lies, and last years numbers for comparison. Included are all the usually SEC teams and some notable extras.

Some teams haven't played yet, this article will be updated as further spring games are completed. Also, don't confuse laughing at the exaggerations of universities as actually thinking spring game numbers matter.


Covered Games:  Alabama, Auburn, LSU, South Carolina, Michigan, Clemson, Georgia, Mizzou, Pitt, Purdue, USC, Texas and FSU.

SEC Billboard Wars Proliferation

Mississippi State and Ole Miss are locked in a duel to the death.  No it's not the annual Egg Bowl, that is anything but a duel.  It's a game of one-upmanship involving who can out do who with billboards.  MSU launched the first salvo, and now Ole Miss has followed suit.  Little did they know they were going to ignite a SEC billboard arms race.  Now all the SEC schools are involved, lets take a look at their efforts: (click to make images bigger)

Auburn is launching a campaign to stress the life of success a career at Auburn can lead too.

Garcia Gold

Looks like Stephen Garcia is going to land on his feet after all.  He has already gotten him self a promotion deal!

I am the Big Dog





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College Football Jeopardy

Welcome to College Football Jeopardy, I'm your host Alex Trebek.  Using the following answers give us the questions that correspond to them.  Keep track of your point total until Final Jeopardy.  Email your points, your wager, and your Final Jeopardy  answer to banditref@gmail.com .  The player with the highest score will be recognized on banditref.com and the Bandit will tweet their awesomeness to the world with @banditref on the tweetbook.  The contest is being conducted on the honor system.* Simply move your mouse over each answer to reveal the question. Remember to answer in the form of a question, and good luck.

* If you are an Auburn fan you may not understand the "honor system" you can read up on it here.

FOR 200 DOLLARS

FOR 400 DOLLARS

FOR 600 DOLLARS

FOR 800 DOLLARS

FOR 1000 DOLLARS

*Please read the footnote in regards to this question when you have completed the game

FOR 1500 DOLLARS

FOR 2000 DOLLARS

FINAL JEOPARDY 

Add up your total winnings so far, then decide what you will wager before you look at the following clue.  Email your answer, wager, and winnings to banditref@gmail.com.  You won't win any real prize and it won't mean you know more about college sports than anyone else.  But it might mean you have a sick sense of humor like Bandit and you are gonna be best friends forever ... or not, whatever.

THE CATEGORY IS:
TERRIBLE SPORTS CASTERS

* Footnote about the Mizzou question:

Please return to the Mizzou question and appreciate the picture of three cute Mizzou girls.  You have no idea how long I had to search to find cute Mizzou girls.  Seriously, the holy grail is easier to find. 

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Every Conversation With A Florida Fan

The Florida Gators have suffered some bad losses the lat couple of weeks.  But the Florida fan base hasn't taken it lying down, no they have taken it with a level of whining and complaining usually reserved for Texas fans.  So the "Every Conversation" series continues with "Every Conversation With a Florida Fan."










Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.


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Gameday Gameplan - How Vandy Plans to Beat Alabama

 My plan today is beer.


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College Football On Notice Board , Week 6

Weekend 6 is upon us as we head into the middle of the college football season.  I can hardly believe that we have already flown through almost half of our season.  If you had your choice: slow down how fast your kids grow up or how fast football season passes? Which would you choose, be honest now, Jesus is watching. Let's look at the board:

1. The State of Florida - The Florida Gators head to Baton Rouge to face the mighty defense and luck of the LSU Tigers.  Florida is without their senior quarterback John Brantley, who is recovering from having his ankle Alabamaed to death.  After the loss, the Florida fan base quickly revealed themselves to be the whiniest bunch of babies this side of the Mississippi.  A second week of devastating loss and the state of Florida may sink into the ocean from the extra weight of all the B.S. being dropped by Florida fans.  If Florida wins it is because they are good, if another team wins it is because they cheat and are on steroids.

2. Garcia's AA Sponsor - Supposedly Stephen Garcia stopped drinking because Steve Spurrier gave him another chance.  What will happen to him now that he has been benched?   Careful that isn't Gatoraid in that water bottle.

3. Tyler Wilson's Arm - Tyler Wilson threw for over 1500 yards so far this year.  How many yards do you think he can throw for against the fairylike fearsome Auburn pass defense?  I bet he can at least double his total.

4. People Who See "Real Steel" - If you saw this trailer and thought "yeah, I wanna see that" you deserve to have 10 bucks stolen from you.

5. Clemson - Clemson you have been doing so well, you are the kings of the ACC! (for what that is worth)  But you are playing a 1-4 Boston College team this weekend, and this is exactly the kind of game that you love to loose.  It wouldn't be Clemson if they didn't pull a Clemson.

6. The Raped East - The ACC has taken a few teams and now your new bell cow TCU has jumped ship.  It looks like dark times for the never really all that mighty Big East.  Isn't this exactly the kind of stuff Baylor was gonna sue the SEC over?  It's just an ide, that would serve Baylor right.

7. Teams Named After Musicals - It's time for the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma.  Everyone and their brother can't stop slobbering over the team named after a fabulous Broadway musical.  Don't rule out Texas though, they are angry at being the butt of everyone's joke all year for the totally ridiculous and not actually seen by viewers Longhorn Network.  They also have a chip on their shoulder as Texas has been relatively ignored by the press and the public compared to other years.  As for Oklahoma I hardly believe beating 3-2 FSU has prepared them for Texas.  Careful boys you are in upset country.

8. Bi-polar Georgia Fans - Just to be clear ALL Georgia fans are bi-polar.  We lost to Boise, boo we are horrible.  We beat Ole Miss, YEA we are awesome! Aww we lost to Tennessee is coming soon.


Want to put me on notice? Do it on the Tweetbook.


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Crime Scene Diagram of Dominique Easley's Alleged Assault of Reggie Myles

Saturday evening after the Florida / Alabama game a crime took place.  Former Crimson Tide corner-back Reggie Myles was tackled to the ground while carrying a tray of delicious chicken strips. Myles identified current Florida player Dominique Easley as his assailant   We don't know if Easley was motivated by anger over not being able to tackle any current Alabama players during the game, or just sheer hunger for delicious chicken fingers.  The always reasonable and professional University of Florida police department is investigating the crime.  We have obtained their crime scene diagram of the assault:

click for bigger version

I love chicken strips.


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The Florida Gator Venn Diagram

What do the Death Star, the Florida Gators, and the Roman Empire have in common?

Got ya girl open like a flea flicker.




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Is Texas A&M SECeding? If So, Who Else?

The rumor mill has been hard at work this morning predicting Texas A&M will move to the SEC for the 2012 season.  I think that A&M making it for 2012 may be a bit of a stretch, but the rumors have been kicked into high gear with the Longhorn Network Deal out in the open for all to see. No reasonable person can argue that the amount of money, publicity, and positive media coverage Texas will get with the deal puts them at an incredible advantage over their counterparts in the Big 12. At this point it looks like Texas is out to do what makes the most money for Texas and everyone else be damned.

So why would Texas A&M go to the SEC? From Texas A&M's standpoint it makes sense for a variety of reasons. They would be joining the undisputed top conference in college football, the SEC has won the past six national titles. They would also be able to recruit against Texas using the SEC banner, telling recruits that they could be seen all over Texas on the Longhorn Network, or all over the nation with the SEC. It would be a step up in revenue to join the lucrative media deals of the SEC, instead of getting what scraps fall their way in the Big 12. The Aggies would be in the hunt for some great bowls and get to play LSU on a yearly basis again. It is really hard to find a reason why the Aggies wouldn't want to be in the SEC when compared to the at this point all but doomed Big 12. Do you want to play Missouri and Kansas, or Alabama and LSU?

Buy, Sell, or Hold SEC Football 2011

Alabama - BUY - The Tide are going to be tough to beat this year, they have an incredible defense coming back,  Trent Richardson is back at running back, and they have a solid line on both sides of the ball.  Right now, they look like the team to beat in the SEC.  Of course the success of the Tide is nothing new, Nick Saban has put together a monster of a football team and we wouldn't look for them to falter anytime soon.  Anything less than a BCS game or a national championship would be a failure for a team with this much talent and this kind of coaching.

Auburn - SELL - Auburn had an outstanding year last year, but that was last year.  Arrest, accusations, and players leaving for the pros have taken a toll on this team. The Auburn football team is a shell of what it was last year.  The weakest point on this team looks to be the lines on both sides of the ball.  It really doesn't matter that Auburn seems to be trying to bring in some new hired guns in the running back and quarterback positions.  Whoever is in the backfield on offense better have their chinstrap on tight, cause that line of freshman is going to have a hard time protecting them. On top of all this Auburn has a tough schedule this year, playing most of their major games away. With Alabama, MSU, LSU, and Arkansas all looking to be great this year Auburn could be looking at the quickest fall of any reigning BCS champion in history.