Offseason Oddsmakers

It's the offseason and when the inevitable boredom leads you to watch an NBA game without Jeremy Lin in it, you know it's gone to far. Don't worry though, we have the solution for your offseason blues. It is way to early to start making predictions about next season with any hope of accuracy. (that will not stop ESPN from doing so anyway) But we can make some bets about the offseason.  I won't tell you which bets I would take, you will have to choose for yourself, we don't want that kind of play at our blackjack table.




Nick Saban will make a media member cry during a press conference. We are only a few press conferences into the spring and all ready Saban has been belittling and shaming reporters left and right. In fact rumor has it that Saban is going to be installing a hot coal walking pit to determine if reporters are manly enough to ask him a question. ODDS 6:1









Lane Kiffin will become part of a Hollywood love triangle. Lets face it Layla Kiffin is way out of Lane Kiffin's league. Meanwhile Fez from that 70's show has dated Lindsey Lohan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ashlee Simpson, Mandy Moore, Avril Canadian, Demi Lovato and now Minka Kelly. It's only a matter of time until Lane loses Layla to Fez. ODDS 4:1

Gene Chizik goes one more year without going to the dentist. Seriously, the guy has no teeth. In every picture he has his mouth open, and no teeth. Of course this might actually be a risky bet because another explanation for the no teeth could be that he is actually a giant Muppet being operated by Pat Dye. Author's Note: I was going to make this bet about Auburn getting involved in another embarrassing scandal but they got involved in an embarrassing scandal literally as I was writing this. ODDS 2:1


UGA Athletic Director Michael Adams tragically dies in his office. An uniformed custodian at the University of Georgia accidentally changed the squeaky old west saloon style doors to Michael Adams office with a regular office door. Confused and horrified by the intimidating doorknob, Adams slowly starved to death in his office. A ghostly shout of "8 team playoff" can still be heard coming from his office. A second tragedy occurred shortly after when Mark Richt entered the room, thinking it was his office, and suffered the same fate. His ghostly shout sounds like "I would have made that field goal if not for over-signing." ODDS 8:1

No doorknob paradox.

Urban Meyer skips family vacation when he is picked first to play pick up basketball."Disney Land will still be there next year. You don't just get picked first and not play. My heart is fine, Nick Saban is to short for basketball."  ODDS 2:1