Every Fan Base Has Them, The Auburn Lunatic Fringe Strikes Back

Two sides of the same coin.

Harvey Updike is not an accurate representation of the Alabama fan base.  He is a fringe lunatic doing what fringe lunatics usually do, ruining things for everyone else. He took a great rivalry and disgraced it in front of the entire country.  He made loyal Alabama and Auburn fans question whether the rivalry was even worth it anymore.  But he is not alone, the lunatic fringe of both sides are working overtime. Kevin Broughton is the Auburn lunatic fringe.  Before you read any further please note that he is no more an example of Auburn than Updike is of Alabama.  Kevin is in the far minority among Auburn fans.


Kevin has written one of the most hate filled and unquestionably idiotic blog post of all time. He not only condones violence and retaliation in his article, he does so in the foulest language possible.  Kevin questions the sexual preference of the President of Alabama, and the motivations and feelings of the entire Alabama fan base.   Let us share a few of Kevin's thoughts on the recent Toomer's Corner tragedy:


Kevin rants - "Mal Moore, Alabama’s Athletic Director — and one of a handful of living protoges of the aforementioned dead pagan god — intoned, “Hearing this about Toomer’s Corner is upsetting to me in several ways. I certainly hope that whomever is responsible is held accountable.” Strong words indeed, Mal. I’m totally sure you’re NOT laughing your ass off."

We highly doubt Mal Moore is laughing his "ass" off.  One of  Mal Moore's duties as the Athletic Director for the University of Alabama is to make sure the University of Alabama is portrayed in a good light.  He wants positive attention for the University.  This event has sullied the entire University. Updike had nothing to do with the University beside his being a fan.  Kevin is making Auburn look bad by being an Auburn Alumni.

Kevin rants - "Some guy who posts as “kleph” at Roll Bama Roll equated the killing of 130-year-old trees with taping a jersey on a statue and pouring grass seed on the ground. “Bottom line, these are all a reprehensible acts and have nothing to do with the rivalry between the two schools and respective football programs.” (Emphasis kleph’s, not mine.) You catch that lumping? These are “all” reprehensible acts. They’re all the same."

This is taken completely out of context.  Kelph (you need to capitalize names Kev) in that same article goes on to say that the tragedy at Toomer's is far worse than any pranks.  But all pranks are bad because they lead to this sort of thing.  Kelph's article was one about understanding and doing the right thing. You can read it here. Taking comments out of context is bush league.  Supposedly Kevin got a journalism degree from Auburn, he is not representing that very well right now.


Kevin rants - "Mal Moore, Alabama’s Athletic Director — and one of a handful of living protoges of the aforementioned dead pagan god — intoned, “Hearing this about Toomer’s Corner is upsetting to me in several ways. I certainly hope that whomever is responsible is held accountable.” Strong words indeed, Mal. I’m totally sure you’re NOT laughing your ass off."

We understand the implied insult here is to say that Alabama fans are Pagans (capitalize the name of religions too Kev) because of their love for Bear Bryant.  Based on Kevin's background and ties to the Auburn family we are assuming he would identify as a Christian.  However, the argument loses some steam when you take into account all the "F bombs" and cursing Kevin uses.  Not to mention the attitude of  turn the other cheek revenge.

Kev o' rama rants - "Deep in their hearts, Mal Moore and [closeted Alabama President] Robert Whitt have nothing but contempt for you, Auburn University, its alumni and everything we represent."

Mocking someone based on sexual orientation is out of bounds if you are over the age of 13, it shows a serious lack of maturity.  Further more, an accusation like this with no basis is slander. Kevin should have known it was slander, having gone to law school.  Also, his name is spelled Witt not Whitt.  According to Kev, Moore and Witt hate everything Auburn stands for.  What are you standing for with this article?  Hate? Revenge? Idiocy? An inability to write a decent blog post even though you went to journalism school?  I think most Auburn fans would really hope people would not take you as a representative of anything they are affiliated with.

Kev Rants - "Well, first off, they’re not, so fuck you. What you did was permanantly remove a symbol of our University. You stole a tradition that was dear to generations of people who actually attended college. It means nothing to you, because you’re incapable of understanding. You’re obsessed with one aspect of college — football — at a university to which you have no other connection. And that’s why they’re “just trees” to you. Alabama fans, you are white trash, without exception. In your black little hearts, you’re happy this happened."

We are not glad this happened at all, it made Alabama look horrible.  It hurt the traditions and lives of thousands of innocent Auburn fans.  So your wrong, at least about one Alabama fan.    We doubt the members of Tide for Toomer's would agree either, they have donated over $7,000 dollars so far to repairing the damage done to Toomer's corner. Anger is understandable, blanket accusations and ranting like a lunatic are not.

Kevy Boy Rants - "Now as to Dr. Gogue’s plea for non-retaliation: again, it’s a fine, if unrealistic sentiment. And here’s what n0n-retaliation will get us: another attack by another typical Bama fan, with faux hand-wringing from the UA administration and more pleas for restraint from Samford Hall. But we’ll cling to the Auburn Creed and convince ourselves that we’re better people than they are. And wait for the next desecration of our campus, when the cycle can begin anew."

Saying that non retaliation will create more of these tragedies for Auburn is endorsing retaliation.


The Kevster ratns - "I reject the call for pacifism. Inaction will make us the France of the S.E.C."

Kevin, you do know that without France there would be no United States right?  You do know that they were the only country that was willing to come to our aid during the Revolutionary War right? You didn't? No sweat, you probably took a class in cussing for journalist instead of history. Also, rejecting pacifism and inaction is endorsing aggression and action.


Kevin Rants - "Now, I do not advocate violence. But what if… What if, at the Iron Bowl in Auburn next November, no Bama fan felt safe? What if, on multiple occasions that weekend, the first bit of “Roll Tide” smack were met with a several-on-one beating?  What if Alabama fans were spat upon, all day long? They’d whine about Auburn’s “lack of class.” Yeah, they’re experts on class. Let them taste a mouthful of poisoned soil at Toomer’s Corner, then listen to their lectures. I don’t advocate destruction of property. It would  be stupid to deface their pagan statues in Tuscaloosa. But what if, upon returning to their vehicles after the Iron Bowl dozens and dozens of Bama fans found their cars keyed tires flattened? I mean…that would be awful."

Kevin, saying you don't advocate something is not an out, you do advocate it.  Heck, just a few paragraphs ago you said that you rejected the call for pacifism and wanted action.  You are blatantly contradicting yourself in order to try to minimize your liability for your statements.   If you were a real man you wouldn't need to hide behind these sneaky outs.  If you want retaliation you're an idiot, but at least be man enough to admit it.  You come off looking like a complete wuss.  You hide behind words hoping others will do these horrible things for you.  Good job Kev, you not only have horrible beliefs, you're also a coward.

Kev goes on to rant some more and come up with some creative cuss words, which is his one true skill.  You get the point.  If you want to read the rest of Kevin's manifesto check it out here.  We would advise against trying to talk to him though, he seems unstable.

What is the point of all this?  Is it some sort of macabre contest?  Are we implying that because Kevin is as bad as Harvey one side or the other wins? No, of course not.  The point is that all schools have these lunatic fans.  Harvey Updike's actions started some of the Auburn lunatics ranting.  That doesn't mean that they are in any way representative of Auburn.  Kevin Broughton and Harvey Updike are two sides of the same coin.  They are so much alike it's actually scary.  If they both rooted for the same school they would probably be fast friends, they have the same crazy over the top attitude.  If Kevin were to actually do something crazy instead of cowardly trying to incite others to, Auburn would not be to blame for his actions.  Everyone has these nuts in their fan base.  These are exactly the fans that are killing this rivalry. We will be honest, we really don't know what to do about it.   And Kevin, if you're reading this, get help man.



If you read one thing this year, it should be my twitter.



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