Candidates We Want to See Consider Buying the Mets

The New York Mets Ownership has hired an investment banker to assist them in selling a minority stake in the club.  The managing director at Allen & co., Steve Greenberg, said he had been contacted by "a couple dozen very serious groups."  While the groups will not be identified at this time, we have a few candidates on our wish list.

Charles Montgomery Plantagenet Schicklgruber "Monty" Burns


Commonly known as "Mr. Burns"  he would bring much needed cash flow to the organization.  At the same time he would be a natural fit, since he has many of the same characteristics of former Mets contributer Bernie Madoff.   We no longer have any trouble firing a manger after a 30 game slide.  Simply invite the unlucky manager  into Mr. Burns office for a chat, push the button to activate the trap door, and release the hounds.  Pay attention Terry Collins.

Jerry Seinfeld 

Seinfeld is, by far, the most famous of famous Mets fans.  If he is at the game, they already show at least four or five shots of him in the stand each T.V.  broadcast.   With Seinfeld as our owner, we might not improve on the field, but at least the press conferences would be hilarious.

Chuck Norris 

If Chuck Norris owned the Mets, even when the sucked they would be the best team in the MLB. When Google has a question ... it ChuckNorrises it.  Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.  Chuck Norris can win Connect Four in three moves.  Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.  Yes, this was an excuse to post Chuck Norris jokes.  You're Welcome, check out more here.

Jon Stewart 


Jon may be a bit of a politically risky choice, but we think the Mets can look past that.  Jon got millions of young adults to pay attention to politics, maybe he can do that for baseball.

Jabba the Hutt 

Jabba really knows how to get the most out of people, he managed to get Boba Fett to be his errand boy.  Also, Rex Ryan has turned the Jets into a success.  Why shouldn't we get our very own Rex Ryan?  We would also love to see Jeter frozen in carbonite.

 Robert De Niro 

Who would mess with us if long time Mets fan De Niro owned a stake?  We would love to hear him sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the 7th inning stretch. Besides, being an Italian American, he could continue on and lead us in the Mets' tradition of playing "Lazy Mary" too. If you don't know Lazy Mary, listen to it here, paesano.


Do it, paesano.



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